Sunday, May 6, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday 5-6-12


            Welcome to another installment of Six Sentence Sunday.  Today is a follow-up to last week's entry: the beginning of my new Contemporary Romance which is still going by the working title: How Long Does it Take to Fall Out of Love, or as I jokingly refer to it: HLDITTFOOL   Don't worry, I have a much shorter title in mind, just waiting on edits before making it official.
             Last week, Liz and Ronnie, best friends since their college days, were having lunch at a sidewalk cafe when the plastics plant exploded.  Today, we get Liz's impression of the scene:
                 

             Up and down the street people poured onto the sidewalks, pointing southward.  I saw a great pillar of black smoke billowing from the place where there should have been only tall towers, slim columns, and fat boilers.  Inside the smoke, orange flames licked at the edges of the deceptively serene noontime sky.
           I shaded my eyes and looked away.  It was too much, too surreal.  On the ground, dozens of black smudges caught my eye, grackles knocked out of the air by the concussive blast; the smaller gray spots were undoubtedly sparrows.


That's it for today!  See ya next Sunday.  If you would like to participate in Six Sentence Sunday, simply go to http://www.sixsunday.com/

20 comments:

Unknown said...

Great imagery!

patonlorraine said...

Love your description! Great six!

Sarah Ballance said...

This really highlights the force of the blast. I love how you build the contrast. Fab job!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful descriptive six!! Awesome!

Candice Bundy said...

Very vivid description! I love the addition of the sparrows, it solidifies the intensity of the blast wave. I'd recommend removing 'I saw' from the second sentence, I think it would strengthen your voice. :) Great six!

Ann Swann said...

That's a good call, Candice. I saw will be gone! Much cleaner, thanks!

Ann Swann said...

Thank you so much!

Ann Swann said...

Thanks, Sarah =)

Ann Swann said...

Thank you, much appreciated!

Ann Swann said...

Thanks, Krystal :)

DasNuk said...

Very different in style to last week's six. Great versatility in narration and I like it!

Ann Swann said...

Thanks...I hope it all comes together after edits are complete. It is slated for publication on September 22nd. :)

S.J. Maylee said...

concussive blast<--I love that. You've expressed beautifully here the shock of the situation. Well done.

Veronica Scott said...

Wow, drama! Terrific description of the poor birds, excellent six.

christine warner said...

Loved the build up and your descriptions!

Wildcats Wife said...

The dead sparrows and grackles added to the intense moment. It tells me that your character really notices her surroundings and pays attention!

Ann Swann said...

Thanks...I thought it added a little feeling of dread to the scene, too.

Ann Swann said...

Oh, I appreciate that!

Ann Swann said...

Thanks, Veronica...do you go by Ronnie? One of my secondary characters is named Veronica/Ronnie. =)

Ann Swann said...

Oh, thank you...I do like that word, concussive. :)