Friday, January 10, 2014

It Ain't Me, Babe

Hoodie, black cap, dark glasses, yep.  That was me on my walk this morning, Springsteen on the iPhone playlist--along with Willie and Waylon and a bit of Adele--and a twenty mile per hour gusty wind.  I was all set.  I was truckin'.

Here's a pic of my walking trail:

Here's how I looked:

Okay, you're right.  I Photoshopped a few pounds off.  And that's a guy, but other than that . . . it's kind of how I looked.

Anyhow, if you know me, you know that I'm just an old a granny who has let her Natural Woman haircolor come out.  (You have to sing the song when you read that sentence.  Go ahead, here's the words, I'll wait:  "You make me feel, you make me fee-e-e-l, you make me feel like a . . . "  Okay, I'd better stop.  Copyright and all that.)  

Anyhow, I was bopping down the trail, covered head to toe Against the Wind (darn, there's another song), earbuds firmly in place, when something began to intrude.  You know how it is, you're doing your thing, wailing away in your head (what?  that's just me? nah . . . ), when some larger noise worms its way into your space.  The space between your ears.  At least that's how it was for me.

And then . . .

A huge shadow passed over me.

I stopped, looked up, one hand holding my hat and hoodie on, the other hand shading my already covered eyes, and what did I see?  A black and white DPS helicopter hovering right over me.


What'd I do???

So, I just started walking again.

The thing began to circle.  Totally drowned out Springsteen and Adele.  Willie never had a chance (nor Waylon).

Check out the pic again, my trail has a few places where it is completely open and a few more where it is fairly hidden by mesquites and yuccas.

I soon noticed that every time I hit an open space, here came the 'copter again, shadowing me, hovering.

Finally, after a mile or so, I had a brilliant idea.

I whipped off my hood, my cap, and my sunglasses (extra dark because of a developing cataract in one eye) and ruffled my left hand through my iron gray Natural Woman hair.

The helicopter moved slowly away.  

Just what I thought.  They weren't looking for an old a granny woman at all.

Whew!  Never thought I'd be glad I was too lazy to keep coloring my hair.

I couldn't wait to get home and tell Dude all about it (he was home with a bad cold).

So there I stood, regaling him with the long-short version (sort of like this but without illustrations) when a Special Report broke into the Ellen Show (yep, telling off on you here, Dude, heh heh heh).  The reporter said the Midland Police and DEA had just busted 22 people in a cocaine/heroin ring but that they had indictments for 35.  You know what that meant, right?  Several of the indictees were gasp! still at large.  Probably wearing hoodies, baseball caps and dark glasses . . .

So let me just end my story with another snippet of song.  This one comes from the great Bob Zimmerman.  It's my response to the DPS helicopter who shadowed my entire walk--until I revealed my snowy summit:

"It ain't me, babe, naw, naw, naw, it ain't me.  It aint' me you're lookin' for, babe.  It ain't me you're lookin' for."

Afterthought:  Tomorrow is another day.  Hope they've rounded up the remainders!


  1. I'm glad your adventure turned out okay. I had a similar experience when an highway patrol officer was shot in my area. A helicopter flew around our neighborhood, and when my husband and I got in our car to drive to a walking trail, it seemed to follow us. I guess when we got out and walked on the path without seeming like we were on the run, they figured we were all right. We later learned they were looking for a couple.

    1. Oh wow, it's kind of scary, isn't it? You know you haven't done anything, but you're pretty sure someone has--and apparently, they're in YOUR area, where you are, ahem, on foot, miles from your vehicle . . . or that's how it was for me, anyhow. Thanks for stopping by, Dale. Stay safe!

  2. Wow, Ann! I must admit, you did a great job of making me laugh over something that was sort of scary! Good thinking letting that "Natural Woman" hair show. :-)

    Several years ago, A friend of ours took her five dogs to the community trail (remote rails to trails). The rules do clearly state that all dogs must be on leashes. In spite of that, after she got about a half mile up the trail and there was no one in sight, she turned them loose.

    Another important piece of this story is that one of the small villages on that old rail line had a large Catholic seminary/ self-contained farm/campus (my dad worked there). Anyway, the seminary closed a couple of decades ago, a group bought it and turned it into a boot-camp sort of school for troubled kids. They have to be court ordered there in lieu of jail time. Supposed to be all non-violent offenders.

    Back to my friend. SO, she's walking and her dogs are running. She hears a helicopter coming. It comes into sight and hovers right over her, very low. The dust and grit from the trail is being kicked up, and there are men dressed in law enforcement uniforms hanging out the open doors. They are yelling at her but she cant' hear them for the sound of the helicopter and the confusion of the swirling grit.

    But she kept shouting at them that she was sorry. She knows the dogs are supposed to be on leashes. Finally, one of the shouts makes sense to her. "Run! Lady, run!" and she squints against the flying debris and sees him point down the trail toward the parking lot. So she calls her dogs and runs.

    Part way back to her car, she meets men in uniform who tell her to keep running, One of the young students/inmates has broekn out and the people in the helicopter could see him. They radioed that he was just around the bend from a woman with a pack of dogs walking the trail.

    lol, so they were afraid of a hostage situation. And my poor friend thought they sent the SWAT team out to take her down for her unleashed dogs.

    1. Oh, Teresa, I can see that your friend thinks the same way I do. I would've been certain they were after me, too. Too bad they couldn't let one of those SWAT-type officers rappel down to the ground to protect her. But maybe that only happens in movies...


Comments Welcome