Thursday, January 5, 2017

New Year, No Sis


Ahhh. We made it through the holidays. It was tough without my big sister there. Liver disease took her suddenly at the end of October and it is still all I can think about. Without her or mom (we lost her eight years ago), I even forgot the potato salad for Bull, our stepdad.

I know, I know. Potato salad isn't true Christmas dinner fare, but hey, he loves it and I love him. 'Nuff said. So how could I forget it? Well, you see, Sis and I always got together on the phone and planned our Christmas menu. She always did the green bean casserole and ham. I always did the turkey and dressing. Er, stuffing. Whatever you call it where you live. The rest of the sides we divvied up like the spoils from a poker party.

But this year, no Sis. Just me and the hubs to plan for the kids, grandkids, and remaining parents. Of course Hubs has always been part of the plan when he isn't working (he controls a pipeline via computer so he works shift work and often has to miss part of Christmas and Thanksgiving and everything in between), but even with his input, I still forgot the potato salad. We had--horrors--cream cheese potatoes instead.

Yeah, I heard about it later. Sue me, I thought at the time, because that wasn't the only thing I forgot this holiday . . . I forgot how the memories of childhood Christmases past would crowd into my eyes and push the tears out onto my cheeks at every turn. I forgot how the old carols and the sight of the bare piano stool would cause my heart to seize up and my brain to stop functioning, and yes, I completely forgot how not having any presents glued shut with a glue gun just for fun would break me into a thousand little shards of brittle nostalgia . . . but as I said, we made it. The glue that wasn't there was still as important as the glue that was. Yes. We made it through.

Even though I also forgot the deviled eggs.

4 comments:

  1. Tough year but yes you made it. I won't tell you it will get easier because I don't think it does. I just say keep moving forward.

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    1. You're right. We have to keep moving forward. No choice.

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  2. (((HUG))) We had a hard time at Christmas this year, too, after losing my Mom unexpectedly. I think holidays bring the grief bubbling to the surface, not because of the wonderful memories we have, but because we realize like a punch in the gut there can be no more memories made with our departed loved ones. (((HUG))) And I still want to come give you a real one. Soon.

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    1. Aww, Katy. I'm so sorry about your Mom. I remember when mine was so sick (several years ago), she asked if she could leave her Christmas tree up that year because she knew it would be her last. We left it up until March. That's when she left us. Hugs back to you!

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